We
just got back from the Experimental
Farm. The highlight for the girls was watching a cow have
a big poop. It lifted its tail: splat splat, dribble splat.
Sarah's eyes were as wide as saucers.
She
mentioned it three times while Mark and Emma went to pick
up our lunch at the chip truck.
Each
time she'd suddenly go very quiet, and with a thoughtful expression
turn to look at me and say:
"Cow
pooped Mom."
There
were all kinds of interesting things happening, a goat was
being milked, there were bales of hay set out for jumping
on, a giant sheep made out of Styrofoam and stucco... not
to mention all of the animals, cows, pigs, various poultry...
and this is what she walked away with. Poop!
Here's
an idea for a children's video. Get footage of animals excreting
their bodily wastes - cows, dogs, goats (pellet poop, that's
fun, like Glossettes!), birds, cats (litter box excitement!),
and edit it together with some snappy music (Na na na NA,
NA NA NA NA, hey hey hey, good-bye!), wrap it up in something
fancy, sell it at Chapters. Everyone with a preschooler with
an interest in the toilet will have to have it.
I
went on another shopping spree at Value Village. There has
to be a twelve-step program for people like me. This is a
most unfortunate addiction to have when one is unemployed
and every dollar is supposed to be accounted for.
Instead
I went out and spent $76.00. Ouch.
Purchases
included:
*
funky low-rise stretch plaid pants. Black and white... do
not adjust your set! These are crazy, but probably the most
comfortable pants I own. There is a lot of elastic throughout.
Especially around the, um, problem areas.
*
Black cotton/nylon pants, wide leg, low rise, weird pockets,
by Silver.
This is my favourite brand of casual pants. For some reason
every pair of size 29 Silvers has fit me really well. When
I happen upon a pair I grab them and gasp. Twenty nines
must be mine! (Uh oh, I have a mantra. Now I really have
a problem.)
*
gray flares from the Gap, cotton, pockets on the side.
*
a short wool skirt from Benneton. Tangerine plaid. They're
totally wacky, and they'd rock with a pair of knee high kick-ass
boots.
*
a red stripey T-shirt. Made out of this really weird stretchy
fabric that is cool to the touch. I am willing to bet it is
highly flammable.
As
I shopped I reviewed my own rules of acquisition. Shopping
at this kind of huge kind of secondhand store is tough work.
Here are my suggestions if you are thinking of going.
Go
there with the intent to shop. ValVillage shopping is not
for those with weak constitutions. You have to be fit, focused,
and ready to dig through the racks. Eat a power bar before
you go, and then drink a coffee.
Leave
lots of time to shop. ValVillage is not for a quick browse.
You need to dive into it.
Don't
avoid an aisle because you're not looking for that particular
type of clothing. (I think this doesn't apply to lingerie
and bathing suits - I stay away from those). At the beginning
I never ventured into ladies blouses. On quick view it appeared
to consist of nothing but ancient fashion from days of yore,
clearly worn by people who had just died from lack of fashion
sense. There was nothing remotely interesting, and just
plain ugly. Well, I got over it and went in anyway. I found
a beautiful silk blouse from Jacob. And it fit beautifully.
It was a 1/1000 chance and I found something worthwhile.
Know
your size, then forget about it. I'm not sure what my size
is. Because there are no size standards in women's apparel,
I can be anywhere from a size four to a size twelve. That
is a huge gap, covers a very large section of the store.
Take the pant aisle for example. I start at the size fours,
scanning and feeling fabrics, and I keep going until I'm
clearly out of my size range. Another thing, I've learned
what kind of pants look terrible on me, only because I've
tried them on a bunch of times without success.
Related:
stuff gets put back in the wrong places, and get shuffled
around by the customers. You may find things in unexpected
places.
If
you're not in love with it, don't buy it. If you find yourself
looking in the mirror and have a trace of doubt, leave it.
However,
ValVillage shopping gives you the opportunity to have fun
with clothes that you wouldn't ordinarily buy. Like the
stretchy low-rise plaid pants. For seven bucks, I just had
to have them. Just be reasonable about it.
Don't
buy damaged goods, unless you are the type of person who
knows how to fix them, and are actually motivated to do
so. Speaking of which, Mary, I bought a long sleeve cotton
t-shirt that I really like, and it's unhemmed at the bottom.
Can you fix this for me? :)
Try,
try, try. And don't get frustrated. I get a shopping cart
and tool around the store and fill it as I go. There's a
limit of three items in the changeroom, so I park my cart
outside and bring it three at a time.
Wear
clothing that won't frustrate you during its removal. Ideal
outfit: halter top, skirt, flip flops. You'll fit right
in. Clothing to avoid: turtlenecks, stockings, or anything
with lots of buttons or tricky zippers.
Cop
a feel. It's strange, something will catch my eye, I reach
for it, and I touch it, and I like it. I pull it out to
read the label, and it's almost always a quality product.
Yesterday I found myself holding a really nice Christian
Dior dress shirt. It was a very light mint colour. It was
very unique. Cool as cucumber. Unfortunately, it looked
to small for Mark. So I left it there. (Five bucks!)
The
art of shopping is beginning to grow on me as I get older.
Perhaps it's the challenge, and the high that comes with a
good deal. (BTW, I've looked it up, that is one of the signs
of shopping addiction, but there is really no need to be worried.)
:)
The
art of shopping is beginning to grow on me as I get older.
Perhaps it's the challenge, and the high that comes with a
good deal. (BTW, I've looked it up, that is one of the signs
of shopping addiction, but there is really no need to be worried.)
:) 
