First, some background.

My workplace springs for a weekly treat of a couple boxes of muffins/donuts. By the end of the day two muffins remained. Because they had been unwrapped, they had gotten pretty stale.

I approached a coworker, and asked him a question that everyone considers at some point in their lives:

"Have you ever wondered how far you could throw a muffin?"

We laughed, and I told him that there were two muffins that looked like they would fare well in a flight simulation. I told him he had 30 minutes to decide what he wanted to do with those muffins.

Thirty minutes later he came over to my desk, armed with the muffins. He had closed the lid. Poor things didn't know what was coming.

Along with a third coworker we went out in the back parking lot. It was going to be a contest Ð which of us was going to throw the muffin the furthest.

I had my choice of muffins. I picked one that was sprinkled with icing sugar. Perhaps it would give it the right amount of spin. Perhaps it would land in a smoking cloud of dust and sugar! I was excited.

I turned it over in my hand, and tried to find the best grip. I held it by the bottom papery part, but it was a little slippery. Within seconds there was a countdown, we wound up like pitchers on a mounded, and threw. The muffins were airborne. It had one glorious .005 seconds in the sky before I realized that ...

You know, normally I pride myself on my aim and my throw. Under normal circumstances I would not define myself as the type of person who "throws like a girl." I played football in high school!

But I'm afraid to say that this time I threw like the wimpiest slack-armed girl I could ever meet.

My muffin veered crazily to the left in mid-flight, and met its terrible end in the side of the car with a resounding THUNK.

We ran, giggling and cowering like children.

We returned to our desks. My accomplice left the building two minutes later. I was left wondering if anyone saw us. I busied myself with other things.

My behaviour certainly wasn't professional, I admit that. And how could I have defended myself if the person whose car I muffined came in the office, looking for the perpetrators, and worse, confronted me about it?!

"You! You threw a muffin at my car! Why? And don't you know there are some people who would have eaten that muffin! Think of all the starving children in India. And so it is on their behalf that I've decided to sue you for the damage to my car and the mental anguish you have caused millions of others."

I am pleased to report that there has been no fallout following our shenanigans. However I haven't gone out to survey the damage. I'm afraid of being recognized. :)

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In unrelated news, I had my first sampling of real Turkish Delight. And you know, I kind of liked it.

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On a more serious note, I have found myself at a serious crossroads re: employment. I can't release the details just yet, but suffice it to say that I won't be working here for very much longer.

Perhaps I will just leave a description of my perfect job here, at the feet of the universe, and hope that a job finds me before I have to look too hard for it.

This would be the perfect job ad for me:

• We are looking for a Web Content Manager-slash-Communications Person for a small/medium sized organization
• Although your main focus would be maintaining our website, you would also be writing and editing content for the web as well as other publications. Attention to detail is a must.
• You must have a degree in a related field such as Journalism (we favour graduates from Carleton because they're such a great bunch of people), as well as significant experience in the industry.
• You must have a solid knowledge of HTML, experience with web graphics, and an expertise in web and Internet-related issues.
• You have a good sense of humour and work well under pressure. You must inspire enthusiasm in a team environment but also thrive when working alone.
• In turn we will allow you, the perfect candidate, the opportunity to be creative, stimulate your brain cells, and give you the space to grow personally and professionally.
• You will only have to work four days a week because our office is closed on Fridays
• The office is location next to a sushi bar and a coffee shop

Also, this blog will be moving to a new host soon. I have something worked out and plan to move files over soon. But if the Fishbowl disappears into the ether without sufficient notice, just drop me a line (tomkins@sympaticoDOTca) and I will let you know where I am.