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I have three articles posted in the latest issue
of DigitalEve Canada's webzine!
Let me know what you think. I personally believe
that I sound like a nutbar. Will I ever learn
to write seriously?
The
Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys See it if you can!
"In
mid-1970s Savannah, two bright but rebellious
boys, Francis Doyle and Tim Sullivan, fight boredom,
hormones and discipline-heavy teachers in their
quest to find something meaningful beyond the
walls of their parish school. Francis is an exceptional
artist, whose imaginative forays into a fictional
universe of good and evil fill his notebooks with
comic-book imagery and create a netherworld of
superhero alter egos for the two boys."
Despite
the fact that it feels like the summer has just begun, I realized
today that it is nearly half over. I needed a bathing suit,
desperately, and I was determined to get one even if it killed
me.
And
you know what, I was going to write about it, but I'm not.
I
was going to write about the tortuously illuminating florescent
lighting at the Bay (which played painful tricks of albification
on my already established pastiness), the hideously overpriced
fabric fragments at Bikini Village (On sale! $109.00 for small
triangles that wouldn't decently cover a cabbage patch kid!),
and then Zellers (!?), where I bought four separates, two
black and two blue.
In
retrospect perhaps the colour selection was a unconscious
tribute to my bruised ego.
But
I'm not going to write about that, because I am certain I
am not the only one who harbours an open hatred of bathing
suit shopping.
When
I got home I modeled the two blue pieces. The sheer cheapness
of the bathing suits was worrying me. I asked Mark what he
thought.
"Wow,
that sure is shiny!"
Ok,
that comment alone guaranteed that I would not show myself
in public.
I
had a feeling that the bra was giving my boobs a slight "ski-slope"
effect. I asked Mark. No, he hadn't noticed. I think that
men would only notice cleavage, or the absence of.
"Mark,
are the bottoms too tight? Too weird across the front?"
"Well,
they don't leave much to the imagination, do they?"
I have quick-dry shorts. I'm wearing them over my bathing suit and
they are not coming off. Ever.
Mark,
feel free to defend yourself in the comment box.
I have quick-dry shorts. I'm wearing them over my bathing suit and
they are not coming off. Ever.
